Help

If you, like me and so many others, have trouble asking for help, or even accepting help when it’s offered, this is for you. We’re all a product of our childhood experiences to some degree. Mine caused me to become very independent and distrustful. I can do it all! I don’t need anyone! I’ve got it covered! Does this sound familiar?

On social media, people do perfect yoga poses in beautiful settings. When I hadn’t done any yoga, that was extremely intimidating. There was no way I could do that! Once I started going to a fantastic yoga studio, I learned that MOST yoga students are not doing poses that look so “perfect” and many of our bodies aren’t built to do things the same way as everyone else.

My excellent instructors often present “options” or variations for poses or getting into poses that we can try or not. Often, those options include the use of yoga props (or substitutes) or making other adjustments to help us get the benefit of the poses for the actual bodies we have. For example, our arms and legs are not the same lengths or proportions, so we often use yoga blocks to “bring the floor up” to our hands for triangle pose. The goal is not getting the hand to the floor; it’s having the “triangular” shape—and continuing to breathe. An adjustment I make because I have broader shoulder is that I need to place my hands further apart than the norm when moving into downward facing dog.

This is to say, we often struggle needlessly in our lives (or our yoga practice) because we don’t accept help. When I was going through my divorce, a couple of friends helped me understand that accepting help is a gift to the helper. People who care about you don’t want to see you needlessly struggle! As one of my friends battled cancer, I finally grasped the full meaning of this lesson—it is often easier to see it outside ourselves than inside. She couldn’t drive anymore but didn’t want to inconvenience us by asking for rides. I don’t even have words for the way it felt when we could do this minor thing to help her. It has helped me let go of having to be so self-sufficient, although I still have to practice.

​Do you readily ask for and accept help from others? Has someone offered to help you, but you haven’t given them the gift of graciously accepting? What is something you could ask for help for that would help you live your whealthiest life?